2/06/2012

Squirrel Attacks Woman in Golf Cart | Lecturas


A woman golfing with her husband and her mother was taken to the local hospital yesterday afternoon. The woman was struck by a golf cart driven by her mom.

Ginger Rogers, 55, was hit by the cart about 2 p.m. at Fairway Golf Course. She was examining her 50-foot putt on the par 5 tenth hole when she heard her mother scream. Ginger turned around just in time to see her mom driving straight toward her. The force of the collision knocked her over, and the cart then ran over her foot.

Her mom, 81 years old, said that a squirrel had jumped up into the cart looking for snacks. She tried to shoo the squirrel away. Instead, it rose up on its hind feet and made a hissing sound. Startled and frightened, the old lady hit the gas pedal.

The paramedics arrived about 15 minutes later and treated Ginger for a broken left ankle. They gave a mild sedative to her mother, who kept muttering, “Vicious, simply vicious.” Then they took Ginger to the hospital. Mr. Rogers promised his wife he would visit her after he finished his round.

John Dean, an attorney for the golf course, said the golf course was not responsible for the actions of its animals. He added, “If the ladies want to sue, they’ll have to sue the squirrel. We’re still assessing the damage to the cart and the green. It looks fairly light; I doubt that the driver will owe us more than $1,000.”

Escuchar audio:

Let’s Go to Vegas! | Lecturas


Sandra had not been to Las Vegas in more than a year. She was excited. Her sister Janice was coming by to pick her up in about ten minutes. Sandra finished putting her toothbrush and toothpaste into her travel bag; those were the last two items on her “to pack” list.

She had called ahead, of course, to get a room for Janice and herself. The hotel told her that no more rooms were available at the price that was advertised in the newspaper. This was no surprise to Sandra. So, she put down a $100 nonrefundable deposit on a room for two nights. The cost for both nights was going to be $200 plus taxes, surcharges, and other fees.

She looked at her watch. Janice was late, of course. Sandra had forgotten to remind Janice of today’s departure time. To put it kindly, Janice was not exactly the most organized person in the world. Sandra called Janice up. She left a short message: “Where are you? It’s time to go to Vegas!”

A few minutes later, Janice called back. She had a big problem—a schedule conflict. She had already promised to attend her daughter’s eighth-grade graduation ceremony this very weekend.

“Oh, Sandra, I’m so sorry,” Janice said. “I know how much you had wanted to do this. I thought Alice’s graduation ceremony and party were next week. I get so confused sometimes. I’ll make this up to you, I promise. Maybe you can call up Lily; she might be available, even though it’s really short notice. If not, don’t worry, I’ll pay you for everything and we can make plans again.”

Sandra sighed and dialed her friend Lily. She wondered how Janice had made it through life so unorganized.

Escuchar audio:

There Goes the Neighborhood! | Lecturas


Carbon Street is a long, tree-lined street with majestic houses on either side. The houses are owned by millionaires who cherish their quiet, residential street. Throughout the day, the only noise is usually the sound of various birds singing in the trees or the occasional jetliner flying high overhead. Not even the sound of gas leaf blowers or gas lawn mowers invades the silence.

But, nothing lasts forever. Carbon Street is about to change. Mr. Bing, a self-made billionaire, has a plan. A big plan. A big plan for a big house. Mr. Bing says he likes to do everything big.

“I like to make a statement. What’s the use of being on this planet if others don’t know that you’re here? After years of searching all over the world, I have determined that Carbon Street is the perfect place to live. I plan to build the biggest house in the world at the end of this street. Construction will take about three years, but it will be worth it. I’m going to throw at least one party every weekend for all my friends. It’s going to be fantastic!”

“It’s going to be a nightmare,” said one neighbor. “We’re already talking to some realtors. Three years of construction. Three years of trucks going back and forth every day. And then parties every weekend? We can't even sue him—I think he’s got more money than our whole state. No, it’s time to move. We went from having the nicest neighborhood to having the worst neighborhood, all because of one new neighbor. I wonder who the idiot is who told him about our street.”

Escuchar audio:

The Doctor’s Almost Perfect Children | Lecturas


Veronica was an only child. Even as a child, she decided that she was going to be a doctor. All her dolls became her patients. All her dollhouses became hospitals for her patients. She spent her early childhood treating her patients for all kinds of diseases and injuries. She saved all of them and billed none of them.

Veronica got straight A’s in high school and college, because she knew that good grades would help her get into a good medical school. She graduated from medical school near the top of her class. She became a pediatrician. She got married and had two kids, one boy and one girl. Veronica’s husband David was an architect and a great cook. Her children did their homework without being told. They got straight A’s in school. They ate all their vegetables without complaining. They were perfect little children, except for one thing: They argued with each other constantly.

Veronica got home at 4:30 p.m. today. David gave her a big kiss and a hug. Then her kids gave her a kiss and a hug. She went upstairs and changed into shorts and a T-shirt. When she returned, the kids were waiting for her in the living room to talk about their day in school.

Marvin, 10, said that today his biology teacher helped them cut up dead frogs. They smelled bad, but he enjoyed seeing their little body parts, like their lungs and heart. “I like biology,” Marvin said. “I want to be a biologist, an animal doctor, and an inventor when I grow up. I’m going to invent a pill so that animals all learn to live together without eating each other all the time.”

“You’re crazy!” exclaimed Rebecca. “What are the animals going to eat if they don’t eat each other?”

“You don’t know anything. You’re a girl and you’re only nine,” taunted Marvin.

“Marvin, be polite to your sister,” Veronica admonished.

“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “I apologize, dear little sister.”

“That didn’t sound very sincere, mommy,” Rebecca complained.

“Okay, here’s how I’ll keep the animals from eating each other. I already thought of that, of course. The solution is a pill that will make all animals like to eat grass, like the cows and sheep do. That way no more animals will eat each other, and kids won’t have to mow the lawn any more. So, that will kill two birds with one stone.”

“Well, that’s very clever,” Veronica told Marvin.

“Now, tell us about your day, Rebecca,” Veronica said.

“Well, as you know, mommy, I’m going to be a real doctor like you, not a mad scientist like somebody I know,” Rebecca started, and then stuck her tongue out at her brother.

Escuchar audio:

The Final Phone Call | Lecturas


“But I love you so much,” she said. “I think I must be crazy. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be with you all the time. I want to marry you.”

“Maybe you are a little crazy,” he said. “Although I think that’s part of being in love. But you hardly know me. I like you, but I’m not in love with you. I don’t think I could ever be in love with you.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know,” he lied. “You’re not my type.”

“I’m not your type,” she repeated. “What is your type? A woman with no wrinkles and a perfect body? A woman who is beautiful even when she wakes up? A movie star? Is that your type?”

“No, of course not,” he lied again. “I don’t know. I’m like everybody else—you’re either attracted to a certain person or you’re not.”

“So you’re not attracted to me?”

“Well, I didn’t say that,” he lied a third time.

“I’m making a fool of myself. You might even be laughing at me. You don’t love me. You just said that you never could love me.”

“No, I said I could never be IN love with you,” he said.

“‘Love,’ ‘in love.’ What difference does it make any more? I apologize. It was nice of you to put up with me. Please forgive me for making a fool of myself and for bothering you. I will never call you again. I must try to forget you now. I am dropping out of school tomorrow; I can’t go there without thinking of you. My heart is so sad.”

She hung up. Alan walked outside. What was he supposed to do? He liked her, but he certainly didn’t love her. Lead her on with lies, or tell her the truth now?

There was a beautiful full moon. But he felt sad. He knew that Natalie was probably crying right now. She must be so lonely.

Escuchar audio: